Personal lives - stepping over that line

[jude_53]

We "meet" people on pbase.. get to know them in some ways.. get close to some who will become life-long friends. Through those friendships people are granted permission to taste a bit of our personal life, and in turn, give of themselves.

But for the most part, we don't really know the people here.. we know what they show us.. how they "seem" .. what we gleen from their photos, their commentary on those images, and the comments they leave on other's photos. But that's all we can do.. and it doesn't mean we are right about them.

What happens when someone from an online site steps into your private life - someone who is not a friend.. someone who lives close by?

Today I was called into my editor's office. He had just remembered that last week while I was out of town he had received an email from a pbase person - jypsee. I said I knew who she was.

Her email informed him that I was taking photos from events that I was assigned to and using them on pbase. And also that unless I had bought a Nikon camera, I was using the newspaper's camera for personal use. Her "concern" was for the newspaper's copyright protection. She also posted a link to my jude_53 account for him to peruse.

Now, luckily I - within one week of working for the newspaper - had asked what the guidelines were. Could I take photos for myself at events that were assigned? Could I use the company camera? As with photographers before me, he said, yes you have permission.

Today he wanted to inform me of the email, also stating that he had written her back to tell her that I had permission and that he was glad she sent my pbase link because he had wanted to see my work (he's a photographer as well and was interested in the site). He told me how much he liked my work.. and noted that from the comments I received I must be well-thought of on pbase. He then said that she had written back a rather rude email about me not being well-thought of except for by a few who were conned by my suggestive photos and that he must be one of them.

Stepping right over that line.

First of all, it's obvious that her intent was to get me fired from a job I both LOVE and NEED very much. Mary and I have had our differences in opinion in the forum. But to hate someone so much that you'd try to see to it they lost their job? Someone you don't even know? I never, ever though that could happen.

I am very lucky that I have the boss I do. Mary's second letter was rude .. and insulting to him. He could have been angry with ME that someone contacted him with motives that were obvious (even to him) in their intent. Instead he backed me up and made me feel better. That action let me know that he considers me valuable enough as a part of the news staff to believe in me.

I'm having a hard time understanding someone who can act without a care of what the reprecussions of being fired would have done to my life.

MY LIFE..

I've done what I can.. contacted slug; talked to someone about steps I can take should this contact continue; told my editor as much as I can to keep him wary.

Then I thought long and hard about writing this to the forum. I thought "The people will think I'm airing dirty laundry" "they'll think I'm being spiteful" .. but in the end I just could not let someone rip into someone's life like that and not say something.

People are closer than you think - sometimes they can crawl out of that monitor.

jude

[darter02]

I’ll tell you what; this is WAY over the line.

Criticizing someone’s shooting style in a public forum on a photo site is ONE thing. Interfering with someone’s living is ENTIRLEY beyond the pale. I cannot fathom the reasoning behind doing anything like this. This is simply NO justification.

We’re talking about some purposefully attempting to cause problems with the income of another. The audacity and gall to do such a thing simply staggers my mind. I am so angry!

And then to claim to be doing this in the interest of the paper’s copyrights absolutely stuns me.

As my father always told me, “You don’t f*ck with another man’s living.â€

[vid64]

I'm shocked. I know she can be, let's say 'argumentative', in the forums, but this ...? It's beyond belief. I'm lost for words.

[jeannius]

pathetic

[jcboyd]

I may disagree with someone’s images but contacting their boss seems to be out of line.

If someone (not accusing you) posted images they are not entitled to it would be none of my business and I would not waste my time dealing with it. There are way too many positive ways to spend my time.

Suggestive Photos? You have the right to post images to your account. I have the right not to look at images you post if I choose not to. Although, I am now curious.

[dazedgonebye]

I think Jean nailed it with that one word. Pathetic.

I'm trying to imagine a difference of opinion that would push me to take that sort of action...nope, can't get there from here. Got to go crazy first.

You always take a chance, being a real person online (not hiding behind an alias). You never know who will decide that they need to interject themselves in to your business. This is certainly the type of thing we all have to fear might happen. So sad that it would happen in a place like this, where many of us feel most comfortable, comfortable enough to share our creativity.

A quick google yields this link re: cyberstalking laws by state.

http://www.haltabuse.org/resources/laws/

[northstar37]

crikey

[jenga]

Oh. My. God.

I'd go further than 'pathetic' - mean and malicious, and vindictive might be better words.

Your editor sounds like a really cool guy - glad you're ok.

[gpaai]

Not a happy person I would guess. While there is absolutely no justifying her actions, I will just say that she seems like the type of individual that has harbored a lot of hate and pain in her life, and cannot stand to see another individual become more successful.

I would be real curious to see her come on this thread and attempt to defend her actions.

I am glad everything is working out for you Jude despite her sinister actions.

Gary

[markcas]

I would have to agree, PATHETIC! What you do online as Jude53 is your business, and no one elses. What you do with the company camera, is between you and your boss, what you do while on assingment is between you and your boss.

Why would anyone else care??

We are in a world where the weak and stupid control the strong and smart, to quote an article in the Saturday Evening Post. You may substitute Creative and talented for "strong and smart" if you wish.

Damn, damn, damn!

I once had someone tell me on another posting board that I should watch what I say to them, "because that is how litigation is started"

Yeah right, I said something damaging to thier aynonomous online persona! Grow up!

"your Honor, he said that satelite256, didn't know what I was talking about, ruining my reputation on Sirius.com. For this reason, I am seeking damages for pain and suffering that prevented me from ever enjoying myself on Sirius.com again"


My point is, people have a right to be who they want to be online. We have to be responsable adults in the real world and present a certain persona to the business world.

How about if people leave us alone when we are in Cyberspace?


I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO DO EXACLTY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ONLINE.

I WOULD SUGGEST THAT NOW THAT YOU HAVE A TATTLE TALE, THAT YOU START A SECOND PERSONA, SO YOU ARE NOT STIFFLED ONLINE.

Now that your boss knows your site, he will always be looking, and you will always be thinking before you post on how your boss will percieve the pictures you upload.

Good luck

[nicky52]

I just don't get it..why would someone do this?..one thought that comes to mind is this person is not stable and is in need of serious help..Jude I'm sorry you had to deal with this mess..how sad..
Roe

[joanteno]

Your boss is a cool dude!

Hmm. I believe in Kharma, eventually it will catch up with you and bite you in the .....

So sorry that you had to endure this..

Pbase should be about the art of photography -

Key is mutual suport and encouragement of all levels of photography.

jmt

[adalberto_tiburzi]

Seems a sad story.

[rileypm]

I don't give personal information here at pbase for this very reason. I know way too many crazies without becoming involved with ones I don't know. I might add that I have been to jude 53's galleries and they are suggestive. They are suggestive of high quality photography. Good work!

[dang]

Stunned!
Jude, as one of my favorite artists before I even came onto pbase, I can only say how sorry I am. There's more to your work than just the provocative. Thank goodness you have an understanding boss, and all is well. The best reprisal is success, may you have the Most!
tom